As far as cults go, the Moonies – and Moonies hate being called ‘Moonies’ – is pretty boring. Its official name, The Family Federation for World Peace and Unification, usually shortened to ‘The Unification Church’, is a boring name. The Unification Church’s philosophies, listed boringly in ‘The Divine Principle’, a book written by cult leader Reverend Sun Myung Moon, are boring reinterpretations of bits of the Christian bible. Even the church’s main principle – that family is everything and heterosexual marriage is the only path to family – is a boring rehash of some of the world’s least interesting conservative values. The Unification Church is almost uniformly snoozeville except for two things: their unbelievable mass wedding ceremonies, and their three-day sex ritual.